I wanted to pull together the Tips that would make all the difference for you, whatever it is you are experiencing right now around dating.
Dating Tip One: Go where there are men!
I can remember my Mum saying to me, ‘It’s unlikely he’s going to knock on your front door!’
Whatever you think about online dating sites and apps, this is where lots of men are, and single men to boot. There can be over 750,000 men on POF at any one time!
The key is to do lots of things, not just online dating. Go outside your front door…
Consider what you like doing and go do it.
Choose the things where men are.
If you like cake decorating and sailing, then join a sailing club rather than the cake decorating class!
If you like music, go to gigs.
If you love dancing, go to Ceroc classes.
If you love sport, join a sailing/tennis/running/cycling club.
All of these are where men are.
Choose things you are going to enjoy.
That way you’ll be motivated to go and you’ll have fun.
Men are drawn to women who have fun and love what they are doing!
Dating Tip Two: Talk on the phone before the first date!
I am amazed how many people arrange to meet without having had a chat on the phone first.
There are so many reasons why having a chat on the phone is good practice.
It will break the ice between the two of you, so when you do meet you will both be less nervous.
If it’s felt good chatting on the phone, you will feel confident that the first date will be enjoyable, whether there’s a second date or not.
If he turns out to be rude or says anything inappropriate or offensive on the call you have only spent a few minutes to find that out.
From a security perspective you have a phone number.
Dating Tip Three: Keep your first date to one hour, at the most!
Coffee, or a stroll, are ideal first dates.
Choose somewhere that is close to you.
Pick out a couple of coffee shops near you, where you feel comfortable, are easy to get to and with parking nearby.
Do the same with somewhere to stroll.
Pick out a nice park or interesting street.
That way, when your date asks you where you’d like to meet, you have a place already in mind.
A quick coffee gives you both enough time to know if you want to meet again.
Also, see my blog post Too Busy To Date for great ideas on fitting dating into your life!
Dating Tip Four: Say Yes to invitations!
Go for it! Even if he doesn’t tick all your boxes.
In fact, especially if he doesn’t tick all the boxes, say yes when he asks you out!
If you’ve been consistently picking and falling for the wrong men, then say yes to someone different.
And date lots of men!
That way you don’t get invested in one man before you are sure he is going to meet your needs and be the right man for you long term.
Dating lots of men also helps you cope with the inevitable ups and downs of dating. If you feel disappointed after a date, then there’s always another date scheduled in the diary!
Dating Tip Five: Go with an open mind!
This is the best of my Five Tips.
Don’t go on a date wondering or hoping that this man will be the ‘one’.
Put that thought right out of your head.
When you are ‘assessing’ him you are missing out on ‘experiencing’ him.
I touched on this in Tip Four; if you are fed up with relationships not working out or that instant chemistry fading away to nothing, you need to consider re-evaluating how you are making decisions about men.
It is not about ‘what you think about him’ it’s about ‘how you feel in his presence’.
What’s more important? The clothes he wears, the job he does and how white his teeth are OR how you feel when you are with him?
Do you feel special, safe, respected?
Be fully present when you are with him, be curious and be open.
This is an opportunity to be wooed (I love that word!), to learn about who this man is and to practice my tools!
If you want to find out more about how to find the perfect man for you then join me this Sunday, 12 June, for my first Have The Fairy-Tale Relationship – Group Coaching Class.
By the end of the 5 weeks you’ll feel excited about dating, immediately be able to spot a ‘good’ man and have your own set of personal scripts to use that will grab a man’s attention and have him hanging on your every word!
Click here for more information.
I can’t wait for Sunday!
In the meantime, let me know which of my Top Five Dating Tips worked for you!
Love Michelle x